What is involved in having a healthy relationship? The basis of all healthy relationships… is to be in control of your emotions. How do you control your own emotions? You can take control of your emotions by being aware of how you look at the actions of others, and the meaning that you give those actions. As humans we automatically want to give meaning to actions. Whether it is the correct meaning or incorrect meaning, we all have an urge to give those actions meaning. And then those thoughts will form into emotions. The results of our actions are directly related to our emotions. Do you know the difference between giving an action meaning and what is actually so? To illustrate the difference let me give you an example: Let’s say that I call my boyfriend to go out for dinner and he says no. And he doesn’t provide an explanation why. And then I assume that he said no because he doesn’t love me. I am going to associate him saying no, with not loving me. Over a period of time, I’m probably going to leave him because I don’t feel loved by him. We all know that there could be many reasons why he said no, maybe he is tired, or working etc. In order for me to be in control of my emotions, I need to be aware of the meaning I give my boyfriend’s actions, as my behavior will always match my mental state. If something isn’t working in your relationship a good place to start in order to repair it, is to start with yourself. Take a look at your complaints with the relationship, and ask yourself, “What meaning have I’ve given to their actions?” Of course, I could always have avoided all the misery by communicating with my boyfriend instead of assuming what his actions meant. However, the point of the above example I provided was to illustrate the difference of what is occuring and the meaning that we give it. If we just look at the facts and avoid giving those actions meaning, we will be well on our way to having happier and loving relationships with ourselves and with others. Never miss another blog again and sign up below to have it sent to you by email. As always, I love you all!